Where did your hope go, dear one?

*CRACK* It's what feels like breaking ribs in the midst of your chest, while your thoughts scream in circles. What is screaming inside of you is so loud you it's hard to concentrate, there are too many thoughts to possibly form another one.

You're fighting not to go back to that dark place. The place that you've been pulled out of time and again...

And as quickly as they come, the thoughts, they go. Left in a place so vast, that seemed so small.

Are you awake yet?

Jeremiah 24

New International Version (NIV)

Two Baskets of Figs

24 After Jehoiachin son of Jehoiakim king of Judah and the officials, the skilled workers and the artisans of Judah were carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon by Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, the Lord showed me two baskets of figs placed in front of the temple of the Lord. ² One basket had very good figs, like those that ripen early; the other basket had very bad figs, so bad they could not be eaten.

³ Then the Lord asked me, “What do you see, Jeremiah?”

“Figs,” I answered. “The good ones are very good, but the bad ones are so bad they cannot be eaten.”

⁴ Then the word of the Lord came to me: ⁵ “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Like these good figs, I regard as good the exiles from Judah, whom I sent away from this place to the land of the Babylonians. ⁶ My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down; I will plant them and not uproot them. ⁷ I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the Lord. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.

⁸ “‘But like the bad figs, which are so bad they cannot be eaten,’ says the Lord, ‘so will I deal with Zedekiah king of Judah, his officials and the survivors from Jerusalem, whether they remain in this land or live in Egypt. ⁹ I will make them abhorrent and an offense to all the kingdoms of the earth, a reproach and a byword, a curse and an object of ridicule, wherever I banish them. ¹⁰ I will send the sword, famine and plague against them until they are destroyed from the land I gave to them and their ancestors.’”

Alyssa

Hope+Healing

I'm tired. I'm tired of saying goodbye, tired of the hope that starts out so strong and then is left quivering on the ground at the end of the day. I'm coming to find out that there are a lot of good-bye's. Some are one's that I would gladly say. Others... Well those ones, they hurt. It's these walls around my heart that I can so easily build. They creep up without so much as a sound.

My soul is screaming from within my chest for You to save me from myself, Lord.

Ephesians 2

New International Version (NIV)

Made Alive in Christ

2 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, ² in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. ³ All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. ⁴ But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, ⁵ made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. ⁶ And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, ⁷ in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Jew and Gentile Reconciled Through Christ

¹¹ Therefore, remember that formerly you who are Gentiles by birth and called “uncircumcised” by those who call themselves “the circumcision” (which is done in the body by human hands)— ¹² remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. ¹³ But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.
¹⁴ For he himself is our peace, who has made the two groups one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, ¹⁵ by setting aside in his flesh the law with its commands and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new humanity out of the two, thus making peace, ¹⁶ and in one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. ¹⁷ He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. ¹⁸ For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
¹⁹ Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, ²⁰ built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. ²¹ In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²² And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

Alyssa

When.

Sitting there rocking myself on my bed, head placed inside my hands. There's a place that I've stepped into, a place that wants so much, but a place where one half of the heart feels shredded. Have you ever gotten to the point where your heart screamed "I can't do that anymore!" yet whispers "But in that place I know I'm alive..." It's a hard place to be. A place of re-learning, a place where a bloody heart must sit in the palms of our outstretched hands.

Psalm 83

New International Version (NIV)

Psalm 83

A song. A psalm of Asaph.

¹ O God, do not remain silent;
    do not turn a deaf ear,
    do not stand aloof, O God.
² See how your enemies growl,
    how your foes rear their heads.

³ With cunning they conspire against your people;
    they plot against those you cherish.
⁴ “Come,” they say, “let us destroy them as a nation,
    so that Israel’s name is remembered no more.”

⁵ With one mind they plot together;
    they form an alliance against you—
⁶ the tents of Edom and the Ishmaelites,
    of Moab and the Hagrites,
⁷ Byblos, Ammon and Amalek,
    Philistia, with the people of Tyre.
⁸ Even Assyria has joined them
    to reinforce Lot’s descendants.

⁹ Do to them as you did to Midian,
    as you did to Sisera and Jabin at the river Kishon,
¹⁰ who perished at Endor
    and became like dung on the ground.
¹¹ Make their nobles like Oreb and Zeeb,
    all their princes like Zebah and Zalmunna,
¹² who said, “Let us take possession
    of the pasturelands of God.”

¹³ Make them like tumbleweed, my God,
    like chaff before the wind.
¹⁴ As fire consumes the forest
    or a flame sets the mountains ablaze,
¹⁵ so pursue them with your tempest
    and terrify them with your storm.
¹⁶ Cover their faces with shame, Lord,
    so that they will seek your name.

¹⁷ May they ever be ashamed and dismayed;
    may they perish in disgrace.
¹⁸ Let them know that you, whose name is the Lord—
    that you alone are the Most High over all the earth.

Alyssa

A moment of time

It wasn't the same type of disappointment you usually feel. It was a deep pain that could be felt throughout the soul. A deep longing, that in that moment, had been told "no." And in that moment of heartache a lesson was learned. A pain was felt. It was the type of pain that went so deep you can imagine tears rolling down your cheeks, yet there are none.

In that moment you learned something about yourself, something you had wanted to deny, but something that stared you not just in your physical face; but in your soul as well.

In that moment...You realize how quickly it all can be taken away.

Psalm 116

New International Version (NIV)

 

Psalm 116

¹ I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
    he heard my cry for mercy.
² Because he turned his ear to me,
    I will call on him as long as I live.

³ The cords of death entangled me,
    the anguish of the grave came over me;
    I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
⁴ Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Lord, save me!”

⁵ The Lord is gracious and righteous;
    our God is full of compassion.
⁶ The Lord protects the unwary;
    when I was brought low, he saved me.

⁷ Return to your rest, my soul,
    for the Lord has been good to you.

⁸ For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,
    my eyes from tears,
    my feet from stumbling,
⁹ that I may walk before the Lord
    in the land of the living.

¹⁰ I trusted in the Lord when I said,
    “I am greatly afflicted”;
¹¹ in my dismay I said,
    “Everyone is a liar.”

¹² What shall I return to the Lord
    for all his goodness to me?

¹³ I will lift up the cup of salvation
    and call on the name of the Lord.
¹⁴ I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people.

¹⁵ Precious in the sight of the Lord
    is the death of his faithful servants.
 

¹⁶ Truly I am your servant, Lord;
    I serve you just as my mother did;
    you have freed me from my chains.

¹⁷ I will sacrifice a thank offering to you
    and call on the name of the Lord.  

¹⁸ I will fulfill my vows to the Lord
    in the presence of all his people,
¹⁹ in the courts of the house of the Lord—
    in your midst, Jerusalem.

Praise the Lord.

Alyssa

What's inside

Look down. Up... Down... Up... Down... Up... Down... Do you see that rising, the air rushing inside; Inflate...  Deflate... Inflate... Deflate... Do you realize there's a miracle going on inside your chest at this very moment? How old are you; 10, 18, 20, 30, 50, 80, 100? Do you realize that the miracle that started inside your chest how ever many years ago, is still happening?

Is there a fire burning inside your chest yet? Don't wait forever, because that miracle is set to end one day.

2 Kings 6

New International Version (NIV)

An Axhead Floats

6 The company of the prophets said to Elisha, “Look, the place where we meet with you is too small for us.  

² Let us go to the Jordan, where each of us can get a pole; and let us build a place there for us to meet.”

And he said, “Go.”

³ Then one of them said, “Won’t you please come with your servants?”
“I will,” Elisha replied. ⁴ And he went with them.
They went to the Jordan and began to cut down trees. ⁵ As one of them was cutting down a tree, the iron axhead fell into the water. “Oh no, my lord!” he cried out. “It was borrowed!”

⁶ The man of God asked, “Where did it fall?” When he showed him the place, Elisha cut a stick and threw it there, and made the iron float. ⁷ “Lift it out,” he said. Then the man reached out his hand and took it.

 

Elisha Traps Blinded Arameans

⁸ Now the king of Aram was at war with Israel. After conferring with his officers, he said, “I will set up my camp in such and such a place.”

⁹ The man of God sent word to the king of Israel: “Beware of passing that place, because the Arameans are going down there.” ¹⁰ So the king of Israel checked on the place indicated by the man of God. Time and again Elisha warned the king, so that he was on his guard in such places.

¹¹ This enraged the king of Aram. He summoned his officers and demanded of them, “Tell me! Which of us is on the side of the king of Israel?”

¹² “None of us, my lord the king,” said one of his officers, “but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the very words you speak in your bedroom.”

¹³ “Go, find out where he is,” the king ordered, “so I can send men and capture him.” The report came back: “He is in Dothan.” ¹⁴ Then he sent horses and chariots and a strong force there. They went by night and surrounded the city.

¹⁵ When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked.

¹⁶ “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”

¹⁷ And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

¹⁸ As the enemy came down toward him, Elisha prayed to the Lord, “Strike this army with blindness.” So he struck them with blindness, as Elisha had asked.

¹⁹ Elisha told them, “This is not the road and this is not the city. Follow me, and I will lead you to the man you are looking for.” And he led them to Samaria.

²⁰ After they entered the city, Elisha said, “Lord, open the eyes of these men so they can see.” Then the Lord opened their eyes and they looked, and there they were, inside Samaria.

²¹ When the king of Israel saw them, he asked Elisha, “Shall I kill them, my father? Shall I kill them?”

²² “Do not kill them,” he answered. “Would you kill those you have captured with your own sword or bow? Set food and water before them so that they may eat and drink and then go back to their master.” ²³ So he prepared a great feast for them, and after they had finished eating and drinking, he sent them away, and they returned to their master. So the bands from Aram stopped raiding Israel’s territory.

 

Famine in Besieged Samaria

²⁴ Some time later, Ben-Hadad king of Aram mobilized his entire army and marched up and laid siege to Samaria. ²⁵ There was a great famine in the city; the siege lasted so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels of silver, and a quarter of a cab of seed pods for five shekels.

²⁶ As the king of Israel was passing by on the wall, a woman cried to him, “Help me, my lord the king!”

²⁷ The king replied, “If the Lord does not help you, where can I get help for you? From the threshing floor? From the winepress?” ²⁸ Then he asked her, “What’s the matter?”
She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we’ll eat my son.’ ²⁹ So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him,’ but she had hidden him.”

³⁰ When the king heard the woman’s words, he tore his robes. As he went along the wall, the people looked, and they saw that, under his robes, he had sackcloth on his body. ³¹ He said, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if the head of Elisha son of Shaphat remains on his shoulders today!”

³² Now Elisha was sitting in his house, and the elders were sitting with him. The king sent a messenger ahead, but before he arrived, Elisha said to the elders, “Don’t you see how this murderer is sending someone to cut off my head? Look, when the messenger comes, shut the door and hold it shut against him. Is not the sound of his master’s footsteps behind him?” ³³ While he was still talking to them, the messenger came down to him.

The king said, “This disaster is from the Lord. Why should I wait for the Lord any longer?”

Alyssa