When.

Sitting there rocking myself on my bed, head placed inside my hands. There's a place that I've stepped into, a place that wants so much, but a place where one half of the heart feels shredded. Have you ever gotten to the point where your heart screamed "I can't do that anymore!" yet whispers "But in that place I know I'm alive..." It's a hard place to be. A place of re-learning, a place where a bloody heart must sit in the palms of our outstretched hands.

Psalm 83

New International Version (NIV)

Psalm 83

A song. A psalm of Asaph.

¹ O God, do not remain silent;
    do not turn a deaf ear,
    do not stand aloof, O God.
² See how your enemies growl,
    how your foes rear their heads.

³ With cunning they conspire against your people;
    they plot against those you cherish.
⁴ “Come,” they say, “let us destroy them as a nation,
    so that Israel’s name is remembered no more.”

⁵ With one mind they plot together;
    they form an alliance against you—
⁶ the tents of Edom and the Ishmaelites,
    of Moab and the Hagrites,
⁷ Byblos, Ammon and Amalek,
    Philistia, with the people of Tyre.
⁸ Even Assyria has joined them
    to reinforce Lot’s descendants.

⁹ Do to them as you did to Midian,
    as you did to Sisera and Jabin at the river Kishon,
¹⁰ who perished at Endor
    and became like dung on the ground.
¹¹ Make their nobles like Oreb and Zeeb,
    all their princes like Zebah and Zalmunna,
¹² who said, “Let us take possession
    of the pasturelands of God.”

¹³ Make them like tumbleweed, my God,
    like chaff before the wind.
¹⁴ As fire consumes the forest
    or a flame sets the mountains ablaze,
¹⁵ so pursue them with your tempest
    and terrify them with your storm.
¹⁶ Cover their faces with shame, Lord,
    so that they will seek your name.

¹⁷ May they ever be ashamed and dismayed;
    may they perish in disgrace.
¹⁸ Let them know that you, whose name is the Lord—
    that you alone are the Most High over all the earth.

Alyssa